**ziphi renata** @ziphi · 2018-06-30T04:27:37Z

ziphi renata @ziphi

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Front loaded cw to scare everyone away.

As someone who is absolutely broken, often suicidal, and who has been very close to needing to be hospitalized recently, I am worried about the emotional effects of HRT. I'm vaguely aware that people have described it like puberty, with intense mood swings. I'm also tired of feeling "inauthentic."

Does anybody know about the associated risks of major depressive disorder when combined with the emotional changes of HRT?

Jun 30, 2018, 04:27 · 6 · 2

**Penpen** @Penpen@cybre.space · Jun 30, 2018, 04:38

**Penpen** @Penpen@cybre.space · Jun 30, 2018, 04:38

Jun 30, 2018, 04:38

Penpen @Penpen@cybre.space

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@ziphi from personal experience i only had like mild depression pre hrt but a year after was diagnosed with bipolar and bpd so idk if that shit was waiting to come out either way but i feel like its related for me

**ziphi renata** @ziphi · Jun 30, 2018, 04:39

**ziphi renata** @ziphi · Jun 30, 2018, 04:39

Jun 30, 2018, 04:39

ziphi renata @ziphi

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@Penpen Thanks for sharing.

**PEA** @pea@fuckonthefirst.date · Jun 30, 2018, 04:44

**PEA** @pea@fuckonthefirst.date · Jun 30, 2018, 04:44

Jun 30, 2018, 04:44

PEA @pea@fuckonthefirst.date

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@Penpen @ziphi hmm, I don't think hrt made my mental health issues worse, but I am a little more........ genuine with my emotions I suppose? Before I was able to just Stay Functional And Together no matter what kind of shit, but now I can't really do that

If I'm being honest, I think it's helped me with my issues more than anything because it helps me release my emotions better and be more open, but I do think it has made them a Bigger Problem in day to day life if that makes sense

**PEA** @pea@fuckonthefirst.date · Jun 30, 2018, 04:46

**PEA** @pea@fuckonthefirst.date · Jun 30, 2018, 04:46

Jun 30, 2018, 04:46

PEA @pea@fuckonthefirst.date

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@Penpen @ziphi so, I guess I would say I'm able to resolve things faster but it's much worse during their duration I guess?

**ziphi renata** @ziphi · Jun 30, 2018, 04:47

**ziphi renata** @ziphi · Jun 30, 2018, 04:47

Jun 30, 2018, 04:47

ziphi renata @ziphi

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@pea @Penpen Ah, that makes sense. Thanks.
I think resolving things faster would be rather helpful for me. I tend to get stuck in it for so long that it gets very bad.

**jorty with a D** @jorty@fedi.jort.space · Jun 30, 2018, 05:30

**jorty with a D** @jorty@fedi.jort.space · Jun 30, 2018, 05:30

Jun 30, 2018, 05:30

jorty with a D @jorty@fedi.jort.space

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@pea @Penpen @ziphi
It is interesting, because while I never took any estrogen-boosty things, I did take testosterone-boosty things for severely low T (actually I still do, tho they’re much higher now), and my experience has been similar in some ways. Things are more pronounced, more vivid. I feel more like a person now, and less like an awareness trapped in a body.

**jorty with a D** @jorty@fedi.jort.space · Jun 30, 2018, 05:33

**jorty with a D** @jorty@fedi.jort.space · Jun 30, 2018, 05:33

Jun 30, 2018, 05:33

jorty with a D @jorty@fedi.jort.space

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@pea @Penpen @ziphi
It’s a different situation for me (not HRT), but I thought it was interesting to see similar things from people taking different horomone things

**ziphi renata** @ziphi · Jun 30, 2018, 05:34

**ziphi renata** @ziphi · Jun 30, 2018, 05:34

Jun 30, 2018, 05:34

ziphi renata @ziphi

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@jorty @pea @Penpen I'm glad to hear it has helped so much for you. And I agree; it's interesting to compare similar experience, even if the root cause is different.

**jorty with a D** @jorty@fedi.jort.space · Jun 30, 2018, 05:41

**jorty with a D** @jorty@fedi.jort.space · Jun 30, 2018, 05:41

Jun 30, 2018, 05:41

jorty with a D @jorty@fedi.jort.space

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@ziphi @Penpen @pea
I will say this tho, second hand: I dated a trans man, and after he started HRT, he was so much happier. Whether from the T itself or just knowing he was finally starting it, I don’t know, but he was much happier

**Doug Webb** @douginamug@mastodon.xyz · Jun 30, 2018, 09:28

**Doug Webb** @douginamug@mastodon.xyz · Jun 30, 2018, 09:28

Jun 30, 2018, 09:28

Doug Webb @douginamug@mastodon.xyz

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@ziphi unfortunately not :( doesn't spund fun at all. I wish you well with the waves.

Using Google scholar to find studies then sci-hub.app to bypass pay-walls is a great method for personal research.

Best

**Rey (vulpish aspect)** @rey · Jun 30, 2018, 15:06

**Rey (vulpish aspect)** @rey · Jun 30, 2018, 15:06

Jun 30, 2018, 15:06

Rey (vulpish aspect) @rey

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@ziphi for me, it's made my emotions more upfront and easier to parse, if that makes sense? It was a rough couple of months getting used to things, but overall it's been an improvement to feel things that aren't just despair or anger.

Another plus: I've become better able to communicate my emotions/feelings/problems with therapists and the like, so I'm getting better help too.

Your mileage may vary =^.^=

**ziphi renata** @ziphi · Jun 30, 2018, 15:09

**ziphi renata** @ziphi · Jun 30, 2018, 15:09

Jun 30, 2018, 15:09

ziphi renata @ziphi

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@rey Thanks a lot.
I've been on a rather thin line recently, and I'm trying to figure out if that emotional openness and the feeling of actually being able to do something about my dysphoria would be worth a few mood swings.

So far, from what I've been hearing, it sounds like it might be more helpful, without too much risk. Of course, I'd still have to come out to the other of my parents before I could start anything...

**clara sparks** @mxsparks · Jun 30, 2018, 17:34

**clara sparks** @mxsparks · Jun 30, 2018, 17:34

Jun 30, 2018, 17:34

clara sparks @mxsparks

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@ziphi so a few months before I started HRT, i switched antidepressants (from one that didn't work and gave me really bad emotional blunting, to one that seems to be working quite well)

and it was really weird (in a good way) how similar the experience was to starting hormones

**ziphi renata** @ziphi · Jun 30, 2018, 18:07

**ziphi renata** @ziphi · Jun 30, 2018, 18:07

Jun 30, 2018, 18:07

ziphi renata @ziphi

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@mxsparks Oh, that's great. I can only hope things work out similarly, at the moment.

I'm glad to hear how it helped out for you.