ziphi renata @ziphi@vulpine.club

Heya!
If you like my art and want to show some support (or even if you like my ramblings), I have a Ko-fi!

https://ko-fi.com/ziphiren

Any contributions are greatly appreciated!
And if you want to show support in other ways, boosts, likes, and comments are always welcome!

Thanks,
Ren

#Introductions !
Hey! I'm Ren.

I'm a grey fox, an artist (primarily with watercolor, ink, and acrylics), a nonbinary trans girl, and I dabble in just about everything creative. I also struggle with severe depression and use platforms like this to discuss and process it.

I have a terrible tendency to avoid initiating social interactions, but please, feel free to talk with me! I'll open up rather quickly.

Job interview today in a little over an hour.

I am completely unprepared and under-qualified.

Here's a terrible scribble of the Pokemon fusion I just got.

I am struck with a sudden urge to be very unprofessional, but I know it would be a bad idea. Heck. Gotta find exactly the right group of people to complain to.

I don't understand why I never see people write: "This candidate does not live up to my ideals but would be acceptable if given no better option."

Instead it's always "[Candidate of choice] or no one!"

There's never any middle ground to anything. If people say or do something bad or stupid, it isn't met with "Okay, this is a problem, let's see if there's a better alternative and, if not, work with what we have." It's "This is a problem therefore evil!"

How hard is it to have a measured response? Things can be harmful in one aspect and still be worthwhile in others. Not everything is a binary good or evil.

Heck, politics makes my mental health angry.

Okay, it's time to get past this creeping depression and make something of today.

Current musical mood:
"The Whip Hand" by The Mars Volta.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUMwFXoltB8

I missed my pills last night.
Which means that I am simultaneously needy as heck and also want to be left alone.

Love me!
From a safe distance!

Been having a few days of "lie at home and do nothing" going on. Upcoming job interview has definitely done weird things to my mood.

Guide to writing music like me:

Step 1: Get stuck.
Step 2: ?

As usual, the music I write is an irredeemable mess, and I have been fiddling with it all day trying to move it forward. I have no idea what to do with it.

Had the unfortunate experience of trying to explain my views on crossdressing as a media trope to a cisgender person who had other stuff to say.

He asked, knowing I was trans, whether I "liked" the crossdressing scene in Final Fantasy 7. I tried to convey that I find it being problematic, with the whole men in dresses being a joke perspective, but I have some attachment to those things as it was an early way to explore my identity (and plus Cloud looked cute, what can I say?).

He interpreted that as: "Like, therefore I am free to go on about a crossdressing scene in another game like it's the best thing in the world."

Ugh. It's so frustrating that he wasn't actually listening to me, only setting up the conversation he *wanted* to have.

I should go out of my way more to find and listen to good music. My musical interests have somewhat stagnated recently.

I am the quintessential millennial! I am the ruiner of things! Rawr!