I have never seen this. It has three stars on amazon tho. You know how bad something has to be to have three stars on amazon?

i don't know how much imma watch either. it has five seasons and i definitely will not be watching all of it

it starts with these guys discussing security for some event and their lips are slightly out of sync with their dialogue (maybe that's an amazon prime issue?)

the one guy has this cheap plastic prop on his arm and the other guy asks what it is but he doesn't answer

this very cgi ship flies over the crowd and lands and this lady is inside and she sure is in front of some green screen. boy is she

this is our alien i guess. which they said wasn't really male or female but they refer to as he anyway

okay, everybody go watch the intro because the performance of the narrator in the intro is fucking hilarious and you need to experience it

okay was it actually written by gene roddenberry? because if it was oh boy there's gonna be some insufferable yet vapid preachiness and just so much sexism

the alien Da'an begins his speech to the crowd by making hilarious parseltongue noises

omg they used a clone tool to make it look like they had a huge crowd 😆

this sequence goes on for several long, LONG minutes where the alien is giving this scifi boilerplate speech abut how they came to earth and cured diseases and ended world hunger and so forth
while this sniper guy is getting ready to shoot them
standard stuff you've seen millions of times

so the sniper aims at the alien and then this guy blocks the crosshairs, i mean he's very clearly and obviously blocking the target, the sniper instead of waiting for a clear shot just fires anyway and hits the guy who was in the way
🤷

then the guy with the plastic prop on his arm fires a very cheap effect at the building where the sniper is and blows up part of it

the doctor is Lwaxanna

oh man they're gonna use green screen a lot, aren't they?

i hate cop protagonists. they're boring. they're always written the same way. they may as well all be the same damn character and mostly they are boring af

so our protagonist is a cop and he works in this generic cop place where generic cop stuff is going on and has generic cop dialogue with this other guy

so the alien is here to touch us

also his (that's the pronoun they're using so that's what imma go with) name is Da'an and they are pronouncing it as two syllables
i don't why i'm annoyed by that but i am

someone thought the name William Boone was really cool, they say it multiple times in the intro and they're said it multiple times outside of the intro

oh yeah William Boone is gonna be a mary sue isn't he?

constant, awkward use of a protagonist's full name is never a good sign on that front and now his wife is saying shit like this

i'm gonna hate william boone, aren't i?

i mean i already kinda do cause he's looks like archer so

so the assassin from earlier follows boon'es wife and rams her car and makes her crash but they couldn't afford to actually crash a car i guess so she just throws her arm up and they cut away to this while you hear tires screeching and a crash

someone just asked how long it would be before the wife got fridged...

so now that his wife is dead William Boone is free to work for the aliens and this lady takes him in her cheap ass cgi chip

oh here we go
star trek embarassed itself every time it brought up evolution and there's no way this is going anywhere good

no. they don't.

the dead guy from earlier is alive so i guess the assassin shot him on purpose because they're working together along with Lwaxanna and they want William Boone to join them

okay

the aliens want to inject William Boone with an engineered virus to make him smarter so he can work for them and lwaxanna says it also makes people obey them and she made a special version that won't do that part

i hope you're getting all this

mood lighting in the operating room why not

the part where they put the virus in William Boone's head just goes on forever

no thank you

no thank you