important reminder: if you want to say thank you, don't say sorry
(and i will lovingly correct you if you do)
source: https://www.autostraddle.com/saturday-morning-cartoons-baopu-15-318590/
https://vulpine.club/media/_T2X53vwSI-yj-X4gNE https://vulpine.club/media/V6byVjwkDuEYUVurz-4
Noëlle the 8-Bit🏳️🌈🎄
@er1n Like I just said in another thread:
"If you mean X, don't say Y" is fine.
"I'm going to correct you to X if I see you saying Y" is absolutely not.
@noelle you know what? When I boost something, there is no onus placed on me to fix the language of the original.
@er1n I thought I was agreeing with you.
@noelle fml can't read for shit today
Sorry
@er1n I coulda been clearer. Sorry too.
Or thank you. Now I'm not sure. >_>
@noelle thanks for being understanding ;_;
@er1n @noelle "correcting" was a poor choice of word. "nudging" is more like it. one doesn't need to apologize for accepting freely-given advice/EL/whatevs from me, or not anticipating a peril that befalls me, or existing
in general, i aim to be graceful and compassionate. and i fuck that up occasionally (for which i *do* wish to apologize)
but no, this is not intended to be a rule, a policy, a limit, or anything
it's intended to be permission to take my love without guilt
I'm sorry that apologies upset people, but this is kind of a learned reflex from decades of finding ways to get people's pity in order to not get crushed by the world and all, so
um
"thank you"
but no
(and psychological studies suggest that even when people consciously feel irritation/upset about lots of apologizing, they still like the apologizer better subconsciously -- so I don't think I'm the only one who developed this habit for this reason)
@sydneyfalk same here, which is why i am working on unlearning this habit myself
see also: https://vulpine.club/@rey/99599245051130440
sorry for bad word choice
@rey I have a lot of difficulty with this ._.;