I'm taking one of these online autism test things, and after like 5 questions I switched from actually taking it to pasting it into a Google Doc and typing up detailed explanations of why nearly every question strictly speaking makes no sense. I'm starting to understand why it says the test is designed to be administered by a professional...

Take this item: "I only like to think and talk about a few things that interest me."

No I don't. I like to think and talk about a wide variety of things. Unlike most people, who have very restricted interests, assume everybody shares them, and act very surprised when they learn I actually didn't even know the baseball season had started, and also I've never watched some apparently popular TV show.

"I have been told that I am clumsy or uncoordinated. [always, never, only before age 16, only now]"

Huh? The state of having been told a thing, once achieved, cannot be undone. No matter what you do, it will still have happened. So by definition that cannot be "only when i was younger," right? Why is only this one item in the perfect tense?

And so on.

if you really benefit from a lot of structure in life but aren't very good at providing it for yourself, and you find ways to compensate for that, that can look from the outside a lot like "lazy" and tbh i'm kinda beyond caring

i've been reading more lately about neurodiversity. (when I dig in, i tend to REALLY dig in.)

my main conclusion so far: there's more contested boundaries between all these different developmental disorders than you can shake a stick at.

which features are taken as essential and definitional for any given disorder appears to have more to do with the methodological biases of whoever first described it than with cause/effect relationships. the whole field seems ripe for some sociology-of-science critique tbh.

but... learning about neurodiversity has put in context a whole bunch of traits and behaviors that i had internalized negative judgments about. and this is useful to me regardless of all the boring lumping/splitting controversies.

just like transition has been an absolutely great thing for me even though to this day i can't say i really understand what on earth it could possibly mean for me to "really" be a woman.

(btw, i totally do recognize how important definitional questions can be for people requiring specific forms of support.)

hmm i think i need to try dropping my cell phone into my cleavage as a reaction to getting misgendered. 😏​

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this is the quality content you don't get from me on the twitter

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have i mentioned how this lets me listen to things on a bluetooth headset that cuts out all the time if i put the phone in a pants pocket because apparently my fat butt blocks the signal? this is truth

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my boobs being so far apart that i can fit my cell phone in between them when wearing a cupless bra (e.g. tomboyx) seriously makes me feel less bad about my boobs being so far apart i mean how awesome is that i have a magic cell phone pocket

i know i tooted about this before but i'm excite all right just let me have it ;-)

I took this picture earlier this week on a college campus in Oregon. it's. so. pretty.

It is still early in the season here, so a number of flowers were just on the verge of opening.

(just to be explicit about that last rhetorical question: there are a lot of similarities to the situation of trans people.)

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This shit matters because there is a modern activist movement that has arisen around ASD. I care a lot about the patronizing way autistic people are treated in society, but do I speak as an insider or an outsider there? And what gives the medical establishment the power to define the boundaries of a movement that challenges it? Gee, where have I seen these questions before...

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I was trying to find out what exactly the difference between NVLD and ASD is and all I can find is endless lumping/splitting arguments about whether there's a difference at all, and articles offering helpfully to "elucidate the confusing difference" and then doing no such thing…

To be honest, the whole thing reeks of gender, too.

dammit i just took a swig from a bottle of hot sauce. not an especially hot one, it was tasty, but still. i guess i STILL hadn't had enough salt for today. i'll be so glad to be off spiro.

My experience with being a girl was like this.

Imagine you're born wearing an invisible mask. You naturally assume everyone else is wearing a mask, too.

Every time someone tells you how to act or how to be you add some paint to the mask. The mask getting heavier each time.

Eventually, 2 weeks ago for me, the mask starts suffocating you. You start drowning. It's literally killing you. But you don't know it's the mask doing it because the mask was always there.

After breaking down completely, and still not being sure why, you take off the mask.
And then, the next moment, I was trans.

talk about porn 

oh btw here's a tip if you didn't know: while "lesbian" porn is mostly targeted at cishet men, there is also a smaller genre usually marketed as "queer" porn that tends to feature actual lesbians and other humans of interesting and varied gender identities and presentations. you're welcome.

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I kind of like how Amaroq doesn't let me post things more than 500 characters and doesn't let me set up a thread of toots to toot all at once. It forces me into stream of consciousness mode without excessive editing, and that works well for a kind of very personal story telling type thread.

It would be horrible for the sorts of things I sometimes do on Twitter where I have to account for things being quoted out of context and it's often advocacy for a position…

But also when I finally did figure it out, that was like the third most important thing to happen that week. Total non-event. I don't even remember when I "came out" about it exactly. Most casual thing ever. Mostly a relief TBH. 😜🌈

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