nsfw yearning 


i think MultiMC "recently" got the ability to specify minecraft account with the command line when launching an instance, which is pretty nice - but I still wish I could set a default account per instance.

SCP weird hypothetical 

so, like
hypothetically, what does it take to wipe out the SCP foundation
especially, like, if you want it to be "subtle"
like at a very minimum i feel like i remember they're entrenched in multiple different connected realities, so?

trans joke, not actually meant to represent anyone/any group 

ah yes, the "brother from another mother" > "sister from another mister" > "oops actually we're trans lesbians in love" pipeline

cw: cannabis, abdl 

oh god getting high and padded would probably be real nice I bet???

cw self harm, photo 

all those over just two times in the past few days. :(

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cw self harm 


back to cutting ourself because of... some stuff. only two different times... but like... many, significant cuts as we just kept going for a little while until it felt "enough". :(

bad joke, self harm 

eat. sleep. cut. repeat.

I just
I wanna feel cared for
I want to feel like I belong
I want to have something to live for

hurting and sad and scared and traumatized and doing anything is so, so, so... everything. difficult and scary and impossible feeling and mew :(


...also I want that to happen to me a lot right now;;; :(

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lewd, sad? 

...maybe we shoulda just linked it first and then explained directly. oh well, fsr don't feel like going through all that so

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lewd, sad? 

the something's a... doujinshi? is that the right term? so that's why we weren't explicit because otherwise it felt sharable un-cwed initially

and the exact details are uh, two "versions" of the same person but one is the original "voiceroid" (apparently it's not just something made up for this work, though the depiction is like realistic humanoid android w/ advanced AI and stuff) and the other one is still mostly human - so our brain goes "wait but the human one would prolly feel inferior?? at least in our view?"

...and here's the link because we may as well share it at this point maybe? /shrug

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brain turning an explicitly happy ending of something sad. suppose that gives a little insight to where we are mentally - both that in general and the exact nature of the sadness :/

See I have to not be respectable in order to get free mushrooms, but I also need one of my other outfits for Helicon House, so I'm just having to throw on my dangerous outfit and search for my weasel whenever the mushrooms card shows up because I'm not gonna pass up 10 SPA

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"No, not one of my 399 normal weasels or my fighting one! The creepy one!"

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Fallen London things: rummaging around, going "Where's my weasel! Damnit, I know it's here somewhere!"

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