re: Question for trans women Show more
besides, we’ll never be trustworthy to them because if we’re not deceitful and manipulative then we’re obviously delusional and pathetic
and even in the best possible scenario … we’re still women at the doctor’s office :-/
@Azure ok he’s One of the Good Ones ;-)
(ditto both my parents, who employ only themselves)
@Azure self-identifying as a Small Business Owner(tm) is my favorite red flag for someone
Question for trans women, TMI, sex mention Show more
@AudreyJune @ghost_bird I froze a bunch of gametes before starting HRT, and the first time I overheard someone actually *correct* another person by calling me “she” was between two techs at the sperm bank—which was pretty impressive in context
but that was definitely a presentation challenge, not because i went more femme than usual, but because I went much more conservative/desexualized than usual so as to avoid feeling Gross
a letter to my ten-years-ago self (3/3) Show more
But this time around, tell your wife as soon as you start to suspect it, instead of trying to hide it until you're sure. Seriously, your poker face sucks--just drop it and save her the worrying, because she's totally still going to be into you.
P.S. Citalopram is going to turn you into a total jerk for about four months and you're not even going to notice. Skip it.
P.P.S. And frickin' learn to cook already. It's good for your quality of life, and it's not going to get any easier.
a letter to my ten-years-ago self (2/3) Show more
Meanwhile, you meet a girl about a year after you give up looking, fly across the country to move in with her, and end up getting married. You learn what professional competence feels like, and it feels so, so good. Your coworkers tell you they miss you when you leave for grad school. (Do it anyway.) You start seeing yourself as having a *future* for the first time ever.
And I'm honestly not sure how much I want to tell you about this last part because it's going to be a while before you can do anything about it and you've already got enough crap on your plate, but ...
Listen, kid, those meds I mentioned earlier? Turns out estrogen is one of them. Turns out there's a reason why you've always hated buying clothes, why you have a hard time relating to guys, and why you're *so* bitter about having been emotionally stunted by a series of abusive environments. Turns out not wanting to be a boy makes you not a boy, and no one is going to make you "earn" the right to be a girl. Turns out you're at least as pretty as you were handsome. Turns out things are gonna be okay.
a letter to my ten-years-ago self, addressed to my retired name (1/3) Show more
Dear 20-year-old George,
You make it to 2019. YOU MAKE IT. And by the time you turn 30, not only will you not have killed yourself (or even tried), but you won't even want to any more.
You serve in the Navy for exactly five years, and yeah, you regret it almost the whole time and for a long time afterward, but you still make it through. You aren't actually so bad at your job that you get fired, you don't get medically discharged for being waaaaay more depressed than you want to admit, and just a few months after you figure out that you're bi, it becomes legal. Good timing there!
After you get out, you finally talk to a psychiatrist for the first time, and it only takes about four more years to find just the right combination of meds for your depression and ADHD. (Your what? Yes, I've seen your undergrad GPA, I'm duly impressed, and I also remember what it cost you.) Take the pills and give yourself permission to structure your life so it doesn't constantly rely on so much "willpower;" I promise you it'll make you hate yourself just a little bit less. And when your first three therapists just don't click with you, KEEP LOOKING.
@sashahamilton an &B sounds so cozy :-) i’d go there in the mornings
@fluffy *immediately starts writing a set of troff macros called “enby”*
@lynnesbian you meant “defend against,” right? ^^
@lynnesbian ls /usr/bin | xargs brew install
This is a “fix your hearts or die” moment. Treating every media product like a AAA game in terms of how workers get paid and consumers interact with it because doing that means you can make an argument for free stuff and turn a blind eye to the fact you’re exploiting workers making sub-minimum wage is a clear demonstration of your lack of solidarity. It matters to organizing. Offering less than capitalists do in terms of material support because you want free stuff is, in fact, destructive.
@VryKranky Like, I don’t know if people know how a writer hears “I pirated your book, but here’s five bucks.” I hear “I wanted the book, but not enough to pay your agent and editor, your comrades, who you know for a fact make less than minimum wage just like you.”
It is unappealing. And if it’s how we present ourselves to especially authors, if they think exploitation is what communists do, then I think we have failed.
married with cats
always out of brain-spoons
she/her and (not “or”) they/them
transsexually constructed lesbian-feminist
The Vulpine Club is a friendly and welcoming community of foxes and their associates, friends, and fans! =^^=