bunker time: y1, d200, plague (+) 

The latest plague test came back negative, so that's good.

re: bunker time: y1, d219, math 

Meeting with a well-known professor who my professor works with to talk about my thesis and seek a letter of recommendation went SO SO SO much better than I expected!

re: bunker time: y1, d221, foxnip, blaseball 

time for: fox candies, an outstanding apple pie, the absurdness of blaseball, and Borat 2: Borat Harder

re: bunker time: y1, d221, extremely weird 

"I am a transhumanist because I do not have enough hubris not to try to kill God."

What happened to those days?

I suppose what happened was that as it turned out, almost everyone who went into AI research ended up either being incredibly buyable by the threat-of-force industry or extremely exploitable by someone who was.

re: bunker time: y1, d224 

First snow of the season today.

bunker time: y1, d224, mh(~), gross 

I keep forgetting that forgetting to take my meds makes everything else much, much harder

like math, or keeping myself and my apartment clean

or remembering to take my meds

thank fuck that's over with for the moment, as evidenced by the fact that this past weekend I finally cleaned out my sink completely

including cleaning away quite a lot of mold growth :S

bunker time: y1, d228, dreams 

Trying to meet up with Borat in a universe where almost everyone around me acted like the pseudo-Kazakhstani. I ran into college friends, too, and was relieved, because everyone else was hypersexual, incredibly stupid, and generally disgusting.

bunker time: y1, d229, mh (~) 

Does anyone else ever wake up with the feeling that something isn't right for no obvious reason?

Like, the same feeling you get listening to a stringed instrument tuned slightly off, or food that's just a touch undersalted. That kind of thing.

bunker time: y1, d229, timekeeping 

I always stay up to watch the hour setback and pushforward.

bunker time: y1, d229, timekeeping 

I'm going to hold on to the bunker time calendar after this is over.

bunker time: y1, d229, uspol, plague 

No matter what happens next week, I don't think I'll ever forget that in the middle of a literal plague, the referendum on whether or not we should become an autocracy, the vote was *remotely close*.

bunker time: y1, d230, uspol, vague, (-) 

Come tomorrow night, I want Them to suffer as we have suffered, to mourn as we have mourned, to fear rightly for Their futures and Their legacies and Their ways of life as we have done for the last four years.

I want Them to hurt, and to fear. I want Them to wail, and rage, and dash Themselves to bloody flinders against the forces of the law.

I want for Them to regret deeply and sincerely having continued to fight this cold civil war, to have gleefully violated the pact of tolerance that kept our society together to some lesser or greater extent becaues they found some benefit in it.

I want for tomorrow night to be the beginning of Their end, the last act in this hundred-and-sixty year war, or else the end of all things on this pale blue dot.

Follow

bunker time: y1, d230, uspol, vague, (-) 

I have not and would not claim to be a good or kind person.

bunker time: y1, d230, uspol, vague, (-) 

But neither am I under any delusions that this cold civil war, regardless of any heating that may come, is a total one, one without quarter asked for or given.

bunker time: y1, d230, uspol, vague, (-) 

Not for nothing have I taken to calling myself an end scholar.

bunker time: y1, d230, vague, (-) 

What was it like, I wonder, to live through the Bronze Age Collapse? Delicate webs of civilization-sustaining trade wrecked by climate shift and consequent war, each societal dissolution fueling the next crash? What was it like to live through the end of all things?

bunker time: y1, d230, vague, mh (-) 

What I'm saying is that no, I'm not OK.

bunker time: y1, d230, vague, mh (-) 

bunker time: y1, d231, uspol 

time now for the quadriennial ritual where we all scream at each everyone we know as if it will help, relive trauma from the last time, and minimally-invested voters from half a dozen small-to-mid-sized states pick the next ruler of the US-EU-UK bloc.

bunker time: y1, d232, uspol 

Well, I'm not crying and traumatized, so that's an improvement over last go-round thus far

bunker time: y1, d233, mild woo 

I will never not feel called out by reality with respect to the fact that there's a pretty clear seelie/unseelie-class aesthetic moiety divide in the Seattle postfurry.

bunker time: y1, d233, mild woo 

@lorxus well, I’ll be, that’s uncannily true

bunker time: y1, d234, mild math 

np: Infinite Orbit and Colors in Space, by Explosions in the Sky

while I get this 15-minute talk in my head written down

Infinite Orbit always puts me in mind of tracing paths through a strange attractor being joined by others who started far away and departed from those who started near

and Colors in Space gives me the sense of... "Someday I will find the answers, and they will be elegant and simple."

bunker time: y1, d236 timekeeping 

As of this morning, it is now BLARTS (Bunker (Lorxus and @rey ) Time (Standardized)) T +20 megaseconds.

bunker time: y1, d236 timekeeping 

@rey (I forgot to mark T +2^24 , which was on the evening of September 27, 2020)

bunker time: y1, d236, uspol 

I wonder what that alternate-universe Lorxus is doing right now, the one in the timeline where The Orange won

bunker time: y1, d240, timekeeping 

BLARTS Day 240. 6 quarantines.

bunker time: y1, d242, foxposting, math 

Helped a friend with some hunting practice today. I found it simple but satisfying.

bunker time: y1, d246, mh (+) 

FINALLY got through to see a therapist for the first time in about 5 years. I think the intake went well, but I didn't realize just how much of @makyo 's archness I absorbed.

bunker time: y1, d246, mh (+) 

@lorxus archness?

bunker time: y1, d249, foxposting, mathposting 

Behind as fuck on paper revision and math pset. I've taken down worse. I'm feeling, for the first time in a long time, even a little like a proper hunter of truths.

bunker time: y1, d249, idle thoughts 

I can't believe we live in a timeline where a major kind of embryonic machine intelligence is homophonic for a swear word in Mandarin Chinese.

bunker time: y1, d249, idle thoughts(-) 

I got slightly nostalgic and watched some of Who Speaks For Earth of Sagan's Cosmos. I used to mourn Sagan's loss. But listening to -

"In the last two centuries abject slavery, which was with us for thousands of years, has almost entirely been eliminated in a stirring world wide revolution. Women, systematically mistreated for millennia, are gradually gaining the political and economic power traditionally denied to them. And some wars of aggression have recently been stopped or curtailed because of a revulsion felt by the people in the aggressor nations. The old appeals to racial, sexual and religious chauvinism and to rabid nationalism are beginning not to work. A new consciousness is developing which sees the earth as a single organism and recognizes that an organism at war with itself is doomed."

Nah. Not that I can tell. It was a brief fever dream of the 80s and 90s, and then done away with, to the best of my perception, and we live in the result.

bunker time: y1, d249, idle thoughts(-) 

Thank the gods he didn't have to see any of this. Thank the gods he didn't have to see how right and how wrong he was.

bunker time: y1, d249, a supposition I keep coming back to (--) 

What if this is a dead world spinning, and has been since the late 19th century? What if the last hope we had to reach the stars was to avoid any or all of the failure of Reconstruction, the Crimean War, the Franco-Prussian War, the Taiping Rebellion, the Scramble for Africa, the War of the Triple Alliance, and the Gilded Age?

bunker time: y1, d250, timekeeping 

Two hundred fifty days of plague.

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