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Rape, Trauma, Rape Accusations 

Our history will always come back to haunt us. We may try to outrun it, we may try to hide from it, but in the age of disconnected connectedness, the world is small and these severed ties and broken couplings will always find a way to come back to the forefront. The world is small, the poly world is smaller, the poly kinky world even more so.

Do you think the sky at the edge of the galaxy would have a fraction of stars in one direction and many many more stars in the other?

USPol 

Honestly we've mostly been avoiding news of the election because at the end of the day, regardless who wins, the fight is not over. Biden isn't going to magic the police into being less shitty, or the system into being less broken, or the social structures into being less racist. Even if he wins, don't stop fighting because "it's all better". It isn't.

Hot take civil war reenactors are larping a very specific time period

Hey all just looking for opinions but what's the difference between reclaiming something traumatizing and retraumatizing yourself by doing something that flashes you back to traumatic events? Just trying to figure this out and not coming up with good answers

Rawr, hey all, we're not sure if any of you actually know our Furaffinity, but we've started doing daily sketches (just graphite pencil line sketches right now, but that'll change soon hopefully) and if you'd like you're welcome to check them out furaffinity.net/user/faeylayn/

We're starting to recognize that with our.... very interesting system topography we're relating to a lot of these in very interesting ways.

Have a good night y'all

Hey all, does anyone know of any street medic collectives in the north east that are running trainings any time soon? We're first aid certified and have attended protest specific first aid instruction but we just want to attend something more comprehensive before we go out there.

Boosts ok, and if you could put someone up during the training days it would be much appreciated but not neccessary.

thank you

suicidal issues 

You know, we wonder if anyone even really cares enough to read anything we put up anymore, but we guess regardless we'd like to at least put our story down somewhere. We've been in the psychiatric ward of a hospital for almost the past two weeks and truthfully we don't think that two weeks was enough but we're still just trying to gather up any of our reasons to keep living and get back to work though we don't want to do that literally any of that either.....Regardless..... we're alive right now and that's about all we can say about it right now..... And we're mostly just trying to come up with reasons to keep that being the case

Hey all,
Do people know of Senior or Lead positions at tech companies in Seattle or NYC that are not garbage? Just anywhere please get in touch with us. Thanks.

On the way to the CFT hopefully we have a really great time ^^

Hey all, we're looking for an artist or artists that would like to take on a larger project for a commission. It'll be a lot of figures (like 9-10) in kind of a family photo sort of thing, Some feral, some anthro, some humanish. Time is of no concern, we've waited 9 months for smaller commissions before.
Please feel free to DM and/or boost we ... tend to like getting a lot of different perspectives and seeing what we like from them all, so we would like to have multiple versions of this done

Ummm we guess a general post but .... are there any artists out there who like to undertake a somewhat larger project? We.... have been realizing a lot of our headmates don't really have good visuals to go along with them and we'd like to make a family photo of all of us (will likely end up being around 9 ish beings of various feral anthro and humanish beings) and most of them will need to be based on text descriptions as only about one - two have references that we like currently.
please feel free to DM or boost and there's not really a set timeline (we have before waited up to 9 months for smaller projects to be done, so we are really easy about things we know life happens.)
We don't spend a lot of time on mastodon compared to telegram so let us know if that's better for you.
Umm yeah guess that's.... that...

It's nice getting back into chainmail again with these little flags, we've just ordered a bunch of rings to do even more pride flags as well and we just enjoyed making them. We're curious if people would be interested in flags like this for hanging or some such thing but we had fun making them and remembering how you go about doing 4 in 1 chainmail and we have missed it

hurting, sexual abuse 

Mew..........
I am hurting....... I don't think I've ever really said that before, but I am.
Earlier today I was getting flashbacks from my last job in theater. And before that flashbacks to my first girlfriend. And then to... even worse things.
I honestly can't tell if all of the things we're doing are just to run away from feeling things or dealing with anything, keeping busy because we are too terrified of what we will find if we stop.
Thinking about what amounts to a lot of sexual abuse from different sources and recognizing that, oh yeah we can't just pretend like that didn't happen, or at least we don't think we should any more....
And wondering if thinking about it is just prolonging the suffering.
Nevertheless, we are opening yet a new chapter... again... and we might end up hermiting, we might end up running away from ourself, and neither of those feel like particularly good outcomes. So we will do our best to find some middle road hopefully.... Something that leaves us neither wallowing in a pool of self pity nor ignoring the issues that clearly plague us day in and day out.
One way or another, we'll be ok.... we always are somehow. Or perhaps we need to spend some time being not ok. Honestly can't tell really.....

We can't help but wonder if it's worth it. All of these pangs and pains... Crying most mornings and most nights.... It doesn't seem worth it but the only thing we hold on to is that we'd likely either be crying morning and night anyways or we'd be so numb that we just wouldn't let ourself feel anything.

Feelings/Hopelessness, ideation 

It seems like these days it's like clockwork, partner begins exploring something with someone else, and we break down with an emotional collapse featuring abandonment issues and insecurities and feelings of worthlessness, then we angrily beat ourself up for feeling that way at all, then we angrily beat ourself up for beating ourself up, then we collapse into hopelessness where we have to drag ourself out of a nosedive of wanting to just end it all.
Some days we wish it weren't so predictable, most days we wish we were feeling anything but what we are.....
We know rationally that we are not, but we feel inordinately helpless, perhaps it's learned helplessness from years of trying everything we can think of and now just suffering because any resistance has always been met with failure. We honestly do not know.
We do know that when this happens we lose all sense of self, of self worth, of self meaning. We love the very idea that we are worth anything all because our partner has decided to explore someone new which we more than give our blessing for. We would want to encourage them to do so, even as we sit here miserable.
And at this point we can't even tell if that's what you're supposed to do. Or if there is a Supposed to do at all in these circumstances.

FoxFire awooed

Waking up at 6am on the floor of an airport in a foreign country. Yep this sounds just about right.

Just... Sadness 

We feel as though we are broken beyond repair, because we feel such a profound sense if sadness when hearing about a great many things, such as when partners discuss their other relationships and when people talk about going to things that we know we can and know we want to enjoy and very much wish we did.
We feel fundamentally flawed that we feel this way and we feel like to simply act as though these feelings don't exist isn't a good solution, nor does feeling them and attempting to work past them seem to work...
We are just left with this sadness, like a loss or incomprehensible hole left within us.
We do not have a solution to this besides the same advice everyone always gives. Just feel the feelings and then work past them, you can't control your feelings but you can control how you react to them, but this miserable sadness is not a state we wish to be constantly feeling and to react positively is to pretend that we don't feel this way.
We feel hopeless, like the options before is all lead to misery and there is literally no option that involves happiness anymore.
And before anyone asks, yes we have taken or meds, yes we have eaten, and yes we did get enough sleep last night. We are just... Beating our head against a wall hoping we might actually get through and not just end up with a headache.

Need some validation, photos 

Just feel the need to post these because we need some validation, but us two ways and we are feeling really weird about even just seeing two ways of presentation

Insecurity and fear 

Hey all.... We have been struggling with something lately, and we are curious on your all thoughts, but how long do you hold on trying to make something work, especially when it's something you really want but causes you intense and continuous pain with the ways things are internally? We own our pain as our responsibility but how long do you hold out hope that things will get better? How long do you hold out hope that the happiness will actually offset the pain?

Insecurity and fear are both intense and things that can be worked through but how long is it before you are simply being stubborn and torturing yourself for something that is out of grasp?

We honestly aren't sure and don't have a real decent perspective on what is something reasonable to hold on to or when something no longer becomes worth it.

All we know is that we keep trying and we keep ending up sobbing.

We still don't know what to do with what we know and how to continue growing, we just know that it is getting more and more difficult to hold on to hope despite everything. And that this pain is feeling less and less worth it.

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The Vulpine Club

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