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not sure if kink or just violence 

I wanna gag
I wanna choke
I want you to crush that little tubey thing that's also known as my throat

the 1.16% test positive rate is actually a statistical mistake. COVID Al, who took 1,637 tests in one day,,

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brb writing an essay about what it Means that the icon for the NYS contact tracing app shows an outline of the state on an angle, as if traced (ha) from a conic projection of the whole country rather than just the state itself

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apparently the number that NYS contact tracing calls from is a 518 number. which is unfortunate, because these days, like everyone else who no longer lives in their area code, I assume any number from my area code is spam by default

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mh ----, sui-adjacent 

my brain: seriously you need to stop working you're burned out and it's gonna get dangerous

capitalism: if you don't work you won't be able to get basic healthcare, let alone surgeries

me: welp, haha, gonna be miserable and dead either way πŸ”₯πŸ‘©β€πŸ’»πŸ”₯

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Else awooed

just saw an ad for the hummer EV and at the risk of jinxing it I think I know what the defining car of the biden administration is going to be

it's really hard to work when my brain keeps screaming at me not to

Else awooed
Else awooed
Else awooed
Else awooed

"boxen" and "meese" had a good run as the funniest irregular plurals, but there's a new act in town, and it's "milves"

murder shitpost 

parallel killer send toot

wait the first part of the chorus of the joker has sinner too shoulda gone with that

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I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint

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I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed

this is the longest my phone number's area code has reflected its location since high school

twitter making qts the default has made me think about this post a lot

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Else awooed

re: religion, cannibalism (but not the sanctioned kind), shitpost 

starting a heresy where the eucharist is a slow-cooked lamb because dammit the "lamb of god" thing was not metaphorical

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