Else @else@vulpine.club

The difference between programming languages and natural languages is that every natural language is beautifully complex and fascinatingly unique, while every programming language is horribly complex and unbearably unique

Real languages, not programming languages

jeans (jean beans)

(RT @glowingskull from when I posted this on birbsite last year)

Chapter 7 § A ¶ 4(iii): the return of the function described in 7(A)(4) shall be in the form of a string.
Chapter 7 § A ¶ 4(iv): in the event that the algorithm described in subparagraph iii does not run to completion, the return shall be the empty string.
Chapter 7 § A ¶ 4(v):

Another esolang: coding with overly formal international treaty language

Whereas the parties acknowledge the value of x to be seven;
And whereas the quantity y is known to be four billion, two hundred and ninety four million, nine hundred and sixty seven thousand, two hundred an

There will be undefined behaviors. The reference implementation will respond to them in painful ways, like deleting random files, playing loud noises through the speakers, or voting Republican. These will not be bugs, as the response to undefined behavior can be anything.

All of the symbols used for syntax will be either existing characters with the appropriate established meaning (× and ÷ or ∕ only. None of this lazy * and / stuff) or a codepoint in the Private Use Area.

In response to tabs vs spaces, there will be no indentation in the source files, because it's a matter of presentation, and characters should only be for semantics. It's up to the editor to display it pleasingly.

Creating an esolang where the literals for Boolean true and false are, respectively, trans_women_are_women and there_are_only_two_genders

Other horrible language features:

if/else only works for actual true/false values. To use truthiness, you must use iffy/elsie statements.

Multiplication is done with × instead of *. Strings must be surrounded by “ and ”. The escape character in string literals is the symbol ␛.

I'm going to make a programming language where ⩵⩶ is value equality and ⩶⩵ is identity equality. Just to make the Unicode Consortium squirm.

Sometimes Wikipedia writers are clearly just having fun

🎶 oh the weather outside is weather
And the fire is quite a fire
And since we've no place to snow
Let it go, let it go, let it go 🎶

Who called it being a queer sensitivity reader and not poofreading

AU where instead of a leap day every 4 years, the first day of every other month is 25 hours long every year

Does "past midnight" mean any time, or no time?