Lucille.EXE @backwardsflow@vulpine.club

here's a real quick and messy two-part version of Light of a Clear Blue Morning. i cut out the last verse and chorus and combined a bit of the soprano 2 part with the alto part, but i'm done tinkering with it.
this song is really important to me. my a capella group performed it recently. i turn to this song when i need peace and healing. hope you like it!

Hey thanks for clicking through. Please tag these things for me:
The usuals (lewd, politics, bigotry, discourse)
Drugs (yeah including weed)
Alcohol
Vomit (emetophobia is real)
Unsanitary (including the previous)
Depicted violence/injury (text is fine, but images can mess me up)

btw friends, my synthpop ep is finally on spotify and all those other online retailers! please give it a listen and consider buying a copy! <3
http://smarturl.it/digitalnarcissist

I wanna
Boogie
Like an animal!

my gf is doing an outstanding job juggling all my weird and contradictory kinks
...and wielding them all with precision to tease me before i can come over >~<

I'm tit-chy...

polybius... 2

good news, lucy is back

I'm a robot.

no for real, when i get sad and i don't have energy i walk like i'm a neural net trying to figure out how to walk on its own

catch me stumbling around campus like i'm fuckin sumotori dreams

trying to write as much as i can tonight on this screenplay intro. my concept this time is much more serious than my other work, but i feel like maybe this intense depressive episode is also coming out in my writing. probably gonna sound melodramatic in the morning, but it's a rough draft so whatever.

i feel like i know a lot of trans folks who are very enthusiastic about public transport and especially trains... which i totally get bc trains are awesome, but where's my trans folks who are very enthusiastic about the mail service? that's what gets me goin tbh

happy 4/13, i would not exist without homestuck and that's not an exaggeration

Y'all remember how I maybe have a thing for being a good toy?
Well... Lucy got played with today and confirmed its suspicions...

... Had to do a whole rigamarole with my insurance. I'm going to get an appointment with a specialist of some kind. I'm very tired.

I'm waiting on a doctor now. This is really happening.

Today I have an appointment to be evaluated for depression and bipolar. I made this decision last week to talk to a mental health professional for the first time in my life. I wasn't scared or anxious or hopeless. I decided something needed to be done and I made it happen.
I'm the type of person to do research on my own, and my suspicion from that and family history is that I'm dealing with bipolar type 2 (depression and hypomania rather than full blown mania). I'm more or less "functional" by a wider societal standard, but it's a struggle. And I don't want anything to go wrong when I least expect it.
Last night I couldn't sleep and I found myself revisiting the research I had done about hypomania. Found a list of symptoms, and it hit me. That's how I felt, not just vaguely or in general but right then. This whole week actually. Irritability, impulsivity, restlessness. Excess energy, higher self esteem, increased productivity. Trouble sleeping.
It hadn't dawned on me that the very energy that gave me the ability to seek help was itself disordered. My good days are part of the problem. It scared the fuck out of me to be honest. Lost a couple hours of sleep to that.
I don't know why I wrote this out, but here it is. Would appreciate some kind words I guess.

i really need to stop spending money, but also i just realized i could commission dzuk to make the one emojo that i desperately want to have..........

i just made a really sweet little synbass riff, but i destroyed it in frustration after trying to quantize it >.<

📲 We watched an hour long documentary about Roland today ^_^
Synthesizers appeal to both of us because the beeps and buzzes are great and Quinn likes the fiddly knobs and switches!
Also I may have almost cried at a certain horn patch on a Jupiter-6...