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please don't refer to me as "queer" in any capacity. i have a traumatic history with the word and having it used for me is triggering. thanks.

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well I guess I should post stuff since this is a new account and all

hi I'm Adrian y'all might know me from monsterpit (rip)

US-based 29yo furry otherkin system-host, bi gray-ace and polyam enby (fae/they)

I watch bad TV I play old video games and I make okay music, carrd in the bio

I haven't copied blocks or mutes or anything so we're starting fresh hashtag new year new me

Mordred might say things here sometimes (he/they pan enby)

somewhat antagonistic - okay more than somewhat tbh but i think it's warranted 

and if you have more of a problem with lgbt+ folks having issues from traumatic histories with the word than cishet people abusing us using the word, go fuck yourself you compassionless ghoul!

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(for pinning 🙃​)

please don't refer to me as "queer" in any capacity. i have a traumatic history with the word and having it used for me is triggering. thanks.

the dwarf fortress flamenco guitar is gonna cure my GERD

us politics , negative as fuck 

biden's dhs terrorized Portland for protesting ICE the same way trump's feds have all last year

there were snipers on the roof and enough tear gas was used that it made its way across the river

All Presidents Are War Criminals

this one made it maybe thirteen hours

fuck your corrupt ass system, maybe?

re: considering lewd -ness 🤔​ 

"sunk cost fallacy but for hiding tiddy" might be the funniest set of words I've ever typed in my entire life

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re: considering lewd -ness 🤔​ 

i really think i just have this idea that i spent so much time being very open about my sex repulsion that now in its absence i cannot properly *allow* it to *be* absent.

sunk cost fallacy but for hiding tiddy

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considering lewd -ness 🤔​ 

me last week: "if i'm still this horny next week i might make a horny account"

me this week: "i'm no longer *quite* as horny but also what's even stopping me from just. being horny on main. posting tiddies even. as long as i tag it properly who cares."

lewd 

not to out myself as a nerd groupie but i do miss the excitement of a post-mtg victory blowjob sesh

Nonbinary people do not have to bow to any rules made by cis or binary trans people regarding gender.

They know nothing about what it means to be nonbinary, and there is no obligation to make yourself predictable and understandable to them.

They don't get to say who we are.

#nonbinary #nonbinarypositivity #genderbinary #cis #trans ..

there's this dude i interact with via my, idk, the twitter account i use for music stuff, and i keep forgetting he's also following my main twitter where i post and retweet a lot of very blatant political stuff until he likes something on there and i'm just like "oh, okay, you're cool cool."

the impression that I get from a lot of cis people is that they subconsciously operate under the assumption that they have access to some additional dimension of their gender that trans people who share that gender don’t have access to

which ofc ultimately is just uninterrogated “soft” transphobia but yeah idk

using the pronouns for someone is a good first step but you’ve also gotta interrogate how you think about gender deep inside and how you subconsciously ascribe “validity” to gender

drunken musings , technically positive 

holy shit I am really seriously in love with this guy

God damn

Alcohol 

I love drinking poison and then being super confused when symptoms of poison happen to me

medical transition 

I become eligible for health insurance next month and I've finally decided I'm ready to talk to doctors about medical transition and I'm actually really excited like I know there's a lot of things that are gonna be a pain in the ass (not least of which being finding new doctors) but I've been putting this off for so long and not been ready and I finally am it's so nice

I know there's so much work ahead but I'm finally actually starting it and that's a really neat feeling

I lied in this post I absolutely have an idea for the content but I've *been* thinking of it as a novel story instead 😅

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how absolutely wicked dope would it be if I did an album where I had two vocal parts and I recorded one now with my now voice and the other one after I start hrt and my voice changes

that would be so cool 🥺 but I don't have any actual ideas for the content lmao so I'm probably not gonna wind up doing it

ptsd , musing on trauma differences 

it's common to see people talk about their ptsd when it results from specific traumatic instants mention how loud noises like fireworks and cars backfiring are triggers for them, and that plainly makes sense especially when stuff like guns and explosions are commonly very dangerous.

but it's jarring to have such a viscerally different experience of the same brain issue. my triggers are hands on tables and the way a pen looks placed against a wrist and the smell of a certain kind of fabric softener. fireworks have never affected me but delivering packages to a house where laundry was being done has forced me to go home early from work (because I became suicidal)

soft violence hits different I guess. in younger days I might have felt it invalidating, like I "didn't really know what ptsd was" or something. but I know better than that now, and I still remember his hands around my neck.

I don't know what to cw this but it's vague mental illness rambling 

istg one of these nights y'all gonna find me driving aimlessly around Leominster listening to the Chronicles of Amber audiobooks for the four hundredth time and I'm not going to even be conscious

re: food , alcohol 

I already usually take my coffee with as much half and half as his white russians, it wouldn't be that difficult to swap the coffee for vodka

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food 

eating grapes from the bunch in the bathroom like literally hedonismbot

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