weird musing 

people will sometimes talk about "oh yea 10 years ago I used to say homophobic and transphobic stuff but I got better, everyone has a phase like that I think, it was the internet back then" and I'm just like, I guess????? sorry I didn't have a phase like that lol I was too busy trying to find actually funny stuff to say

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self re: weird musing 

like I'm glad you learned from the past and got better, but I still feel like it's weird to be like "yea everyone had a phase like that" because like, no they didn't lol

self re: weird musing 

@Roxy yeah!! I don't want to shame people for a past they aren't still living, but "sure I did it, everyone does it" is often a red flag for what it's willing to excuse

I dunno if there's much bad in this case, but I'm still not a fan of pretending it was everyone and therefore, morally, no one.

re: self re: weird musing 

@heatherhorns yea definitely like, I don't want to hold someone's past against them like that, but like, saying stuff like "everyone did it" is like, are they trying to justify that behavior somehow??

re: self re: weird musing 

@Roxy "it was a different time"

re: self re: weird musing 

@heatherhorns @Roxy antisocial personality stuff do be like that, but it varies a lot with the person and their upbringing, often they regret not being pushed back on it, often they just didn't see the full picture, often they may have been subjected to it themselves and it ended up as a self-depreciative pattern, and so on.
Ultimately, if they brush it off as 'everyone did', it indicates they still have some things to go through...

self re: weird musing 

@Roxy it sounds like the perception of someone who grew up around so much of it that it was all they saw most of anyone doing, who hasn't yet realized that other people growing up in better circumstances weren't necessarily subjected to the same amount of peer pressure to do terrible shit that they were. given the nature of how having that in your past can mess with your head after you've grown out of it / how brutal some of those circumstances can be, it could also be a way of simply avoiding facing the trauma of it, or the depression that comes with realizing that things *could've* been better for them, but weren't

but yes, it *is* plainly incorrect to say so, and obviously it can strike some folks who've not had those experiences as unsettling in the ways you describe

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