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The present personal narrative 

So, I've had a hell of a past couple weeks and feel the need to spill a couple things in my own personal style.

I am not the me I used to be, but not even the gods know why I've reeked of coyote so long - not most of them anyway.

I participate in magic while knowing it has no scientific basis, yes I believe it can change my life, and no I do not dismiss the science. There's a few threads involved, but note how the implied correlation between placebo and lack of any effect from any source is as foolish as it is dismissive.

More than one thing can be true at a time, and if you don't believe I can give you new limbs, new realities, change your image and form for even a fleeting moment... then damn do I have some surprises to show you.

I accept friends without causality and stories without sense, because hey it makes sense to someone in some language.

What I don't accept is riddles caged in sadism and abuse, even and especially if they're spoken as a grave warning for me to not do something I'd already decided against the year prior, from someone pretending to be one of my headmates (yes this actually happened.)

But if a predator tries to name and claim me, it's a simple catch to flip the tables and claim it for my own. Don't underestimate a fox in a labcoat - we got a strong pull.

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So who IS Kyresti? (Rev. Sep 2019, part 1/2) 

So, a little background about me:

There's a few things that don't change.
-I'm on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum.
-I've been a furry since 2000, otherkin since 2002, though the minor details went through a laundry list of changes.
-I'm pansexual and a devout relationship anarchist. In more confining/conventional structures I lean almost entirely aromantic.
-I'm post-traumatic on multiple fronts and coping in strange but effective ways. The species stuff is at least partly connected, and yes I'm open about that. πŸ’š
-I'm demifluid with my resting state trending towards androgyny.
-Collectively we're a median system with expression thereof varying markedly (think Garnet from SU but somewhat less stable as a fusion). As Kyresti I'm the hypervisor, permanent observer, and near-permanent body controller.

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So who IS Kyresti? (Rev. Sep 2019, part 2/2) 

And here's the more contemporary quirks-mode aspects.

-As of last year? I am post-GRS, outie to innie but with complicated feelings on the outcome and a frequent desire for 'mixed characteristics' (Yes it IS possible, I think for all but at least for pre-op AMAB types. Message me and I can refer you to surgeons who know that technique.)
-As of about the beginning of this 2019? I'm half gray fox, half coyote, therian partly by choice.
-Devoutly transhumanist and a vocal proponent of morphological freedom. Your body, your wants, your business, and fuck the haters!
-Actively trying to self-teach from a wide swath of science and engineering disciplines to help make that real (It's gonna be a while though, this is kind of a lot.)
-Lover of academia as a haven for progress and research, sworn enemy of academia as an institution of gatekeeping, debt-slavery and corporate cronyism.
-Semi-solitary eclectic pagan, moderate intensity chaos mage, childe (in the Vampire sense) of Coyote. And yes I DO mean that clever yet often careless, no-shits-given oversexed asshole of a trickster god.
-Student of Fox (predominantly Red) for his light-heart and razor wit, and yes there IS a spiritual component to my therian crap why do you ask. XD

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Seeing the city start to come back to life, I feel torn and frustrated for multiple reasons.

Biggest among them being this would legitimately be a really good way to live, if capitalism didn't hold the prospect of shelter over our heads like a meat cleaver.

Also TFW you learn Goodyear was an actual person. The tire company was named for him not out of connection, but out of respect for his work. o.o

Welcome to Planet Earth, 2021, where the value of a currency can be plummeted by 20% with nothing more than a single tweet.

In lieu of ability to directly force change, outrage is a form of value-signaling.

But it at least tells you where the people around you stand, and some days it can be a valuable news source. At least when it's not a vague discourse.

I wonder now, how this whole crypto-mining thing's going to end. It's not sustainable, but there's also not a force out there with both the power and the -want- to stop it.

Fuck printer-bed delamination, actually.

(Weird, I've -never- had that happen with PLA before...)

Mother's day PSA:

Ya know, I hate being -that- asshole on social media, but keep in mind a lot of us are familial abuse survivors or have a hard time with this one otherwise.

CW your posts if you can, and uh... don't go blindly insulating we should be calling, caring for, or cherishing our own.

Damnit now I almost wanna do some Tampopo shit where I bounce between shared spaces and open labs and scavenge as many tricks as I can. It's at least slowly becoming possible again.

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The biggest difference between learning the tinker's path alone and having classes (or at least tutors) is that you have less and harder-to-seek chances to find out about other people's workflows.

The internet is a small blessing, but I fear missing obvious things if they aren't taught to me.

Just how many of us are quietly waiting for Moloch to age out and die?

re: Prose from a sacred scavenger - on compassion, connection and truth (the dark side. CW: familial abuse meta) 

Also know that while you couldn't do this alone and that you stand on the shoulders of what everyone before you built, you don't owe anyone your subservience. I want you to also take a moment, if you can bear it, to reflect on anyone who ever said "I love you" while loving their own image of you, disregarding your own needs. To reflect on anyone who used those words as weapons. To any teacher or system that said they wanted you to succeed, and knowingly or otherwise, really wanted you to be a more capable wage-slave. To any cult you may have escaped where the leader simply wanted fans.

The social contract goes both ways. Love is -never- truly unconditional. As Mother's Day and Father's Day come up, affirm that you are not obligated to love someone simply bringing you to this imperfect world. If you can be Zagreus and heal some dysfunctional shit in the blood, that's great. If someone who beat or abandoned you is destined to then die alone and miserable in 'a home', that's the bed they made. And if someone has an ass-backwards take on duty-by-existence, you don't have to simply sit and listen.

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Prose from a sacred scavenger - on compassion, connection and truth (the light side) 

Anyway, I feel like opening this to a slightly wider audience since I think I might -actually- be finding some wisdom. Also that this is actually a pretty significant day of the year for me.

But I'd like you, if you can, to take a moment. Think about the people around you, family, friends, kindred spirits. Think about anyone who has taken you in, taught you to survive. Think about the the medical staff that's shown care when you're sick, helped you embrace yourself if you're transitioning or similar. Think about your support network, the critters who let you cry on their shoulders, and the ones who throw the parties and set up the spaces where we share joy.

None of us go it alone, and we all depend on one another to make this life worthwhile.

(And if you have a guess as to what inspired this, I have an equally important flipside to add to that.)

Anyway I'll say this much about this lifetime, generation, society, etc.

All the bullshit is there, but we have some of the best therapy tools humankind ever wrote to date in modern psychology, rivaled perhaps only by the material interwoven into mostly Buddhism.

It's not perfect, but it Matters.

Got an open question and a bit of a fairy I'm chasing, y'all.

So, I know what capillary attraction is and how it works on a fundamental level.

Where would I go looking for the formulae that could tell me the upper limits/possible dimensions of tube sizes, how fast it occurs and in what volume, etc?

Also, I don't know why this didn't occur to me far earlier, but "If you have time to lean you have time to clean" is literally nothing but a display of dominance. Someone throws the line they may as well just be saying "I'm the boss. Entertain me."

Also since I'm on... _a few_ interesting kicks at this point:

Never take for granted the privelege of a hot shower, and never underestimate it's ability to cleanse if you're in the right headspace.

uspol, LB, scotus meta 

LB: Look y'all I have weird fucking feelings about this given how racist gun control is in practice, but if that's what pulls SCOTUS out of literal nazi-mode despite Sleepy Joe's bullshit? Ehh, I'll take the victories I can get.

Here's hoping.

Btw, if you ever want to know what I think of "the libs", consider the image of a line of parents dropping their kids off to school. They were re-opened with only weeks left in the year, and COVID cases are skyrocketing.

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