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no i haven't become a peterson fan, but there's a lot going on here with ideology and how it even works. the meaning that comes from what isn't said, and who gets to say it and why are some bizarre things totally normal

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i wonder if one way you could salvage a thing you're not going to finish but is conceptually really deeply fascinating is to write a metanarrative of how your creative process worked to get there, and polish up your notes as part of it

even though it's spring outside, it's still the middle of eternal winter in my soul

just got the covid vaccine today, and it's the one and done kind so i should be immunized up in 2-4 weeks

how strange it is, how strange it is...

how strange it is indeed!


i never was very good at roleplaying on, like, a muck or other semi-synchronous medium

i always felt like i was on the spot, and i kinda low key panic and mind blank, and it makes things less fun for everyone

so i just stopped trying to push past that

and i think a similar kind of anxiety keeps me from writing very much in general, that isn't what i am thinking right at the moment

maybe not having a timeframe to finish or an audience to disappoint will help build that up

idk. those of y'all i know who write, have y'all had a similar problem? if so, how have you coped with it?

at the end of the day, i am a digital computer dork who is trying to understand what the fuck is going on outside that world and come to a half-decent philosophical understanding

The wildest forensic stories are the ones where you pull at a loose thread and discover that you've got hold of a the tip of the tentacle of some kind of cthulhoid monster from the depths of hell. That's the story of Eliminalia, global fraudsters for hire.

The story starts with Qurium, a secure hosting provider that focuses on at-risk civil society groups, the kinds of people who piss off dictators with their own snatch-squads they can use against their enemies.


i would like to not be like this anymore, because i realize how limiting it is and i don't want to want to live the life of a recluse

but i don't know how

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i think you could describe me as hikikomori-adjacent

i would, at this point

i have a hard time really connecting to people or reaching out or counting on them or planning with them to do something

it doesn't even occur to me to, sometimes

can you have dysphoria but for, like, existing as a living thing in the world

having another perhaps obvious realization

my own capacity to imagine things can be as much of a liability as it is an asset

i can create compelling and internally-consistent enough stories and thoughts in my head that they feel like they're what's really going on, but they aren't and i don't actually know that that's what's happening

mutual aid request, escaping from abusive parents :boost_requested: 

So, uh, hi!

Our parents Have Decreed that we Are moving back in with them for the summer...
which, given how bad Christmas was... I really don't think we can handle that. It's rapidly approaching worst-case scenario.

So we're trying to get away.

We may or may not have a place to stay yet, not sure, but it'd be nice to have some money to help us get on our feet when we get there, not starting from zero.

those shocked articles about how millennials aren't turning conservative as they age are so funny. like what did you think was gonna happen. oh i can't afford a house and will never retire. my city is turning into a slum from lack of effective public services. my shitty health insurance costs 3000 dollars a year out of pocket. capitalism rocks. i love ronald reagan now

i think instead of worrying about whether we can genetically modify children to be "more intelligent" maybe we should put an ounce of energy into improving the material conditions of the people who are currently alive right now

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