vx. redgrave @KitRedgrave@vulpine.club

new rule for myself

i do not get to criticize something unless i have done a lot of research into how and why it works, and also how it came to be

there is almost always more to it than the immediately apparent, and there might be interesting opportunities in either the thing itself or in the components that comprise the thing applied in a different way

i quit being human some time ago, now i'm something more and something less. by my own choice and my own hand, even.

you're my favorite parasocial relationship

locking my account for now, out of caution. please be someone i've interacted with in the past and poke me if you want to follow for some reason

also, hey.

just so y'all are clear: this isn't an alt. this is my new main. ^_^;

even if it looks functionally the same as my old one on cybre.space

btw, if i didn't make this clear enough: if you do not think otherkin or furries or queer people are valid, if you don't think that people have a right to self-authorship and insist that all we can ever be is one kind of thing, then you are not my comrade.

i feel like the very boundary between myself and the world is a very ill-defined and illusory thing, and that feels very distressing

in what respect can i be said to even exist as a self? there's clearly something that is mine as much as anything even can be, but...

if i consider parts of the world to be wicked and terrible, i consider parts of myself to be too. and i will forever be in conflict with myself.

how does one live like this?

this is very much in contradiction with some of my own feelings, and probably a lot of y'all, but...

one of the greatest lies is that of the self-made person. that we can go anywhere, be anything, by our own decisions alone.

and maybe in a conceptual vacuum, you could. but we live in a world with history and cause and effect and needs and dependencies.

anything that we can be said to make of ourselves, isn't ever entirely up to us, because everything we have and everything we are came from somewhere else.

even the very will to remake is not really ours. not entirely. what does that even mean?

i often end up appreciating the villains and other characters in things that i'm "not supposed to" appreciate

usually when the heroes are utterly square or unlikeable

getting a little too comfortable and complacent with the idea that everything is, at least in theory, amenable to discrete analysis and recombination and grand structural planning... because in the world you spend a lot of time in, those things get you pretty far.

speaking really only for myself...

programmer brain is a hell of a thing

misskey has the right idea

who needs upvotes or faves when you can 🍮 instead

if you've read glitch rpg, then maybe it'll make sense if i say that transitioning is going from eide 0 to ... more than that.

had that rare experience of running into an online clinic for hrt... for cis people.

and like... my dude, it's dope you want to optimize bodies. for some of us, it's the opposite set our bodies produce that works best.

it's like... you almost get it

make use of the fact that you are Not The Average Person

today i got a sense of just how much fucking magic x86 processors today have baked in, and no wonder it backfires

https://blog.cloudflare.com/branch-predictor/

pros to dating kit:

• pretty cute
• constant snuggles if you want it, easily pulled into more
• open-minded and accepting of a lot of things, will always hear you out
• can hold an interest in the most off-the-wall things
• can, in fact, fix your printer

cons to dating kit:

• sometimes emotionally distant, hard to approach, coming off cold
• prone to depression (but getting better)
• will probably forget important things
• it will be a slow burn kind of relationship

i can relate to franz kafka more than i figured, and i don't know how to feel about that

fuck you

*unmixes your messaging*

any day i can show someone the anarchist library is a good day