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How To Breathe Fire, a guide for dragons:

1. Chomp lithium-ion battery.
2. Aim maw.

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gun related joke 

assault unicorn (mid-range horn, automatic fire modes)

i'm just moving my wife's windows partition for video games from an old hdd to a new nvme ssd and i don't think anybody really appreciates the amount of psychic damage i'm soaking to accomplish this task

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smarm in proprietary software is crazy-making

"sit back and relax while we work our magic" is literally a thing the windows 10 installer says, instead of describing what the fuck it is actually doing (failing to install)

surely this is intentional, the culmination of thousands of user studies to develop the perfect mechanisms to enrage people like me

like why else would it be there

surprised they don't yet say "don't you worry your pretty head about it"

Mechfox with USB-C ports so you can charge devices off of my internal power.

⚠️ disclaimer: DO NOT ACTUALLY DO THIS because you actually WILL get fire and uh, you're probably not fireproof.

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How To Breathe Fire, a guide for dragons:

1. Chomp lithium-ion battery.
2. Aim maw.

*flops on the TL, making all the posts shake*

lewd, surreal humor 

> fuck cars

instructions unclear, dick stuck in tailpipe

"damnit, noone said you should do it anally"

What do you mean my drink is "on the house"? I want it right here in my hand, not on top of the fucking building

although I'm actually a fox, and whether I'm a man is debatable (leaning toward no).

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